Frustration

"Despair and frustration will not shake our belief that the resistance is the only way of liberation." - Emile Lahud

Current Weight:  216.0 lbs
BMI: 39.5

Argh!  Ever since I started walking and trying to eat healthier, my weight just fluctuates up and down.  I think I'm losing weight and I get excited, and the next time I step on the scale, I'm back up again.  How does this happen?  I have been telling myself, it's ok, it's early days.  But how many months is early days?  I'm already four months into this endevour!  The only splurge I had this week was a soda.  ONE ROOT BEER.  That can't account for 3 1/2 pounds!

How do you keep from getting disheartened?  Its so easy to get frustrated and say, why am I putting all this effort into getting up at a god awful hour to go walking three times a week when I'm STILL going to gain weight?  Why am I spending all this time preparing healthy foods to take to work with me so I don't graze out of the vending machine?  Why not go out and devour a bucket of ice cream?  Eating healthy obviously doesn't do any good.

Ever since I have started exercising, I have not had a steady weight loss like other weight loss bloggers report.  I have been boucing up and down within several pounds.  I trying to be ok with that as long as the several pounds keeps dropping.  In the beginning it was between 215 and 220.  Currently, it seems to be 212 and 216.  (This is assuming that next time I get on the scale it's not more!)

But even if I acknowldge this mentally, it's hard to keep from getting frustrated every time the scale goes back up.  What should I do?  Reward myself each time I reach a new low weight?  What with?  Definitely not food!