I have a hard time relating to a lot of weight loss stories because most of the ones, or at least most that I saw are about people who have been overweight all their lives. I am in no way denegrating their journey or struggles; my heart goes out to anyone that struggles with weight issues of any sort. I just couldn't really relate to this type of story.
Despite having a horrible body image where I believed I was a FAT COW, I was actually a very healthy teen. I surfed in the summer, skied in the winter and rode horses every spare moment I had. I weighed a muscular 135 and no matter how little or much (or badly) I ate, or how much I exercised or didn't, I never gained or lost weight. It was the lack of losing weight that contributed to the body image, along with many other factors.
Side note: Weight charts should be banned. According to the accepted weight chart, I should have weighed 112lbs as a teen. I hadn't weighed 112 since the 7th grade. And that knowledge was a huge contribution to a perfectly healthy, ATHLETIC teen thinking she was a fat blob. GET RID OF WEIGHT CHARTS!!!
Fat Cow at 15
Fat Cow on 18th birthday
I never even gained the "Freshman 10" in college despite dorm food and late nights studying with very little exercise.
Then, somewhere around 25, I busted up my knee pretty badly. I was on crutches for months and gained about 15lbs. Not too bad, you say. Nope. I had managed to lose 10lbs of it around the 6 month mark.
Then THE ACCIDENT. My car was rear ended on the freeway but it didn't seem like that big of a deal at the time. "My neck hurts a little bit, Officer, but I really don't need to go to the hospital, I'll be fine.
For the next six months I lived with what felt like a knife shoved into my back. The pain got so bad that it was all I could do to get through a day of work and I became almost an invalid. I'd drag myself to work, suffer through a day and go home and just lie down and stay there. Though the knife feeling eventually went away, The neck and back pain, and excruciating headaches became my life.
Two years of doctors, physical therapists, orthopedists, accupuncturists, and lawyers later, the consensus was: either learn to live with it or have surgery that may help...or do nothing...or make it much, much worse. Thanks, but no thanks.
Doing anything invited an increase in pain. No more sports. No more social activities. My friends found other people to get together with, even my romantic relationship suffered. Once you lose all contact with the social world, its extremely difficult to begin doing something, anything to actually live your life again. Especially when you still just hurt.
I also still ate like a teenage equestrienne. And I gained 50lbs.
I also still ate like a teenage equestrienne. And I gained 50lbs.
In the decade plus after that, I have learned to manage the pain and would even have whole days where I don't notice it. It never really goes away but I guess you just get used to it. The problem is, I also gained another 35lbs for a whopping grand total of 85lbs.
So, now I'm a 40 something weighing 220lbs. (Did I just admit that to the ENTIRE world? Excuse me while I quietly scream.)
I know. 220lbs doesn't sound like much in the world of weight loss stories. But I'm 5'2" That makes my BMI just about equal to my age. ACK!
Last Weekend at 220lbs.
(I saw this photo posted on a website and cried)
(Source: kayakpower.com)
It only took me 15 year to say SCREW WHAT THE DOCTORS TOLD ME about my physical limitations and handicaps. I'm going to do anything and everything I want to do. Which is why, finally, I was so gung ho to start chronicalling my efforts at taking my life back.
The problem is, my weight was a huge (pun intended) factor in everything I do, but I didn't want to talk about it. So, apparently I had nothing to talk about.
Now I guess I'm writing a weight loss blog. That is if I can actually get myself to write this time. All I can say is, we'll see.
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