Fundamental Dilemma

"Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver." - Ambrose Bierce

So I paid Nikon to fix my camera.  And when I got it back, I was exactly the same as before I sent it.  Cleaner.  Software updated.  But still with problems.

As I wish to become a professional photographer, my next goal after buying a new car is to save for a full frame, professional camera.  So I really don't want to put any more money into a camera that may not ever work properly again.  So, I need to replace it.
But, because I had to buy my new car sooner than I anticipated, it left me without the cash reserves to purchase a new camera outright.

Debt makes me angry. I spent a huge chunk of time digging myself out of a fairly large financial hole and pride myself on "living within my means" and not carrying consumer debt.

Do I replace my camera with the same model I have for a smaller amount of money that I can pay off in a couple months?  Then begin saving for the professional model, having spent several hundreds of dollars on a camera that, for all intents and purposes, is only temporary?

Or

Do I buy the professional camera now, placing myself in greater debt that will take a significant bit longer to pay off, but not "wasting" money on the less expensive (but not cheap) "temporary" camera.

Do I stick closer to my values in the short term, or go against the grain for something that will be of greater benefit in the long run?

Voice From the Past

"I firmly believe that you live and learn, and if you don't learn from past mistakes, then you need to be drug out and shot."  - R. Lee Ermey


Once upon a time, there was a girl, young and foolish, like most girls.  Most of the people in her life, people whom she should have been able to count on, people who claimed she could trust, all let her down, turned their backs, walked away.

One day, she met a guy.  This guy seemed like a good guy.  She was honest about her past, how it was difficult for her to trust.  He swore he would never let her down.  She wanted to believe him, but like the young and foolish girl she was, she tested him.  And tested him.  And he stayed.  He was good to her.  She eventually started to believe that maybe, just maybe, she could trust him.

And then he left.  Without a word.  Just gone.  Like all the others who had let her down.

That young girl doesn't exist anymore. Grew up. Moved on. Put the past and all those people behind her.

But one day, he's back in her life, just as quickly as he left.  An email in her inbox: "Is it you?"
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Does she reply?

My Life in Bullet Points

“God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.” - Bill Watterson quotes (American Author of the comic strip Calvin & Hobbes)

• I went to shoot bluebonnets recently and realized that the lack of sharpness in my photograps over the last few months is NOT a result of bad user technique (thank god), but a problem with the auto-focus on my camera.

Its hard to tell from a tiny picture, but blow it up and it's completely blurry

• Its great to know my photography is not getting worse, but a repair bill from Nikon is not what I needed at the moment.

• Lord knows when Nikon will complete the repair and ship my camera back so I'm now experiencing serious photographic withdrawals.  All I have to take photos with is my iPhone and a little digital point-and-shoot.

• I still get reminders every now and then that I am not a professional photographer yet.  I don't quite have the mindset.  When I was taking the above photo, I parked across the street and was crouching down in the tall grass.  A cop drove by and stopped to check out my car  (he couldn't see me).  My first reaction SHOULD have been to snap a photo.  I didn't even think of it until he drove away.  (Very nice guy, I have to report.)  Oh well.  It will come.

• I added another interval to my run today.  I am up to six.  Give it another month and I'll be able to move on to week 2! :)

• The pain in my ankles when I run has not completely gone away, but, barring a few relapses, its significantly decreased.

• Maybe a year from now, when I've completed this 8 week course, they will actually have strenthened up a little bit.

• I mentioned before I have started using twitter.  I'm actually up to maybe 2 tweets a week, which is fantastic for an anti-social loner like me!  My twitter handle is @remmarkphoto if anyone is interested.

• The springtime wildlife is out in force at the lake.  I got a few shots with my iPhone.

Cute little bunny down for it's morning drink from the lake

A Yellow Headed Blackbird passing through on it's way north

• I finally got my new car!!!  My poor 16 year old Honda Civic was dying a slow and painful death and deserved to be put out of my misery.  It was a good car and I was sad to give it up, but now I have a nice shiny new (used) CR-V that I have been lusting after for several years now.

• Isn't there a rule that you have to take a new car on a road trip?

• I'm planning to visit a friend in Georgia. :)

• I just pray my camera will be back in time or I'll be shooting with a Cannon PowerShot.  How embarrassing!

• It's weird.  Once you actually accomplish a major goal, you kind of have that feeling of, "What now?" 

• Time to look at that list of things to do in my life, pick the next thing to work on and get cracking. 

• Maybe that should be to start my photography business...for real, legally speaking.

 

 

Presidents Everywhere

"The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny." - Albert Ellis

All five living presidents are in town today.  Forget that it is an unprecidented historical event.  The event itself is "invitation only" so it's not like the locals can participate in said historical event.

Road closures.  That is what I'm talking about.  Half the roads in my neighborhood are closed becaus of this historical event.

On the bright side, I got up early to beat the traffic for my run and was treated to a spectacular sunrise.

I Did It!

"Wearing your running shoes everywhere this spring may increase your odds of actually running." - Unknown


...and then I didn't.  I actually completed all 8 run intervals on the first day of the second rendition of week 1.  I had quite a bit of pain in my ankles, but I FINISHED.  And then...

Day 2 the ankle pain was so bad, I could only do 4 intervals and wasn't sure I would be able to walk back without a rest.

Argh!  I even bought a new pair of running shoes (the least intense ones I could find in my size).

The only reason I'm not too concerned about the ankle pain is because I experienced it before when I started walking, but with the greater effort of pace, I am experiencing a greater intensity of pain.  Even with pre-run stretches.

I did find that, instead of running 4 intervals in a row and walking (hobbling) the rest,  it is much more tollerable if I run every other interval and walk the intervals in between.

It took several weeks for my ankles to aclimate to the regular walking.  I have no doubt it will be the same with running.  I refuse to be deterred.

I keep reminding myself that it is not how fast I progress that is important right now.  I consider it a complete success to get myself out of bed on a regular basis and moving my body as much as is possible for my current  level of fitness (or lack thereof).

As an added incentive, I am enjoying the change of landscape to spring.

Trees are budding their leaves:

Birds are strutting for the ladies:

 

 

Even a pelican passing through has stopped for a paddle.

 

 

Life is good and only getting better.  :)

 

 



Social Media

“There are many things of which a wise man might wish to be ignorant”  - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I could actually consider myself NOT a social media user.  Yes, I have a blog.  That is to encourage my writing and post pictures for my friends to see.  Yes, I have a facebook page, but it's not my fault.  I had to sign up for one to assist the marketing department with a technical issue on the corporate page.  And, ok.  I have a twitter account, but I never actually tweet...

Until this morning.

I made my first tweet.  In conjunction with my first Instagram post.  Yes, it seems I now have Instagram as well.  Oh God!  So much for avoiding the time-wasting, soul-sucking black hole of social media.

This is what I posted:

"Not something you see every day!"

I played with instagram because it was taken with my iPhone in lousy light from a distance.  In other words, it sucked.  It was a crappy photo and couldn't get much worse, so what the heck.  The funky Instagram presets actually made it look better.  Go figure.  But I couldn't save it without sharing it and while I was at it, since I seem to have inexplicably gathered a few twitter followers, I why not tweet it.

My first tweet.  And it actually amuses me.  I'm so ashamed...

Sigh.

Run For Your Life

"Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity."  - John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Normally I keep things like this a secret.  More often than not, I fail and if people know about it I have to admit my failure.  I don't like admitting to failure.  But I decided to use this blog for accountability in my quest to change my life so...

I have decided to start the Couch to 5K program.

Sigh.  There, I said it.

I have never been a runner.  Even at my fittest, running was...difficult.

I have been walking for almost a year now.  3 days a week (almost) like clockwork.  I haven't lost any weight.  Although some of the weight has redistributed itself a bit as I am wearing the next size down and my legs seem a little less jiggly.

I have always liked the IDEA of running.  Thanks to lack of time, money and opportunity, I have very few options for sporting activities in my adult life so running seems like a good idea.

I have no illusions about how challenging this is going to be.  Physically AND psychologically.

The program is laid out as an 8 week course.  I thoroughly expect each "week" to take me a month before I am even remotely able to move on to the next level.  I already did the first day, which consisted of a warm up walk, 20 mintues alternating between running and walking and a cooldown walk.  It was a push to run half of the running cycles.  I walked the rest. 

But that's ok.  I'm thrilled that I even tried.  Maybe day 2 will see me running one more cycle before I have to walk.  I will not let frustration or feeling like I am not progressing "like other people" to be an excuse for quitting.

My goal here is not to run a race.  My goal here is to be able to move faster than a stroll without asphyxiating.  In my perfect life I am able to move across varied terrain all day shooting pictures.  For that, I need to be fit and not pass out if I climb a hill, or rush to catch a shot.